Sunday 5 August 2012

Come back! All is forgiven

My period that is. After bitching and moaning about it so much a few months ago, it's continued to sulk and has not been seen since.

Now I want it. Desperately. And I want it within the next two weeks before we go on a long-awaited, much deserved holiday to Malaysia (a week in Kuala Lumpur - shopping!! and a week in Borneo).  The last thing I want is a perimenopausal period while I'm swanning around Borneo with the orangutans, believe me.  I'm already traumatised by the realisation that Malaysia is hot. And where we're staying has a pool.  And Borneo has beaches.

You know what this all means don't you? That's right. Bathers.

[space reserved for a respectful silence as women contemplate this]

Oh it's been teasing me - low cramps, an egg-popping feeling on the right, bloating - but no red flag.

I have a horrible feeling that it will come just before we leave or worse, while we're away.

I wish it would just make up its bloody mind (see what I did there?). At this rate, it's rivalling John Farnham for comeback tours and I've just about had enough.

So finger's crossed it makes an appearance in the next two weeks so I can get it over and done with. And I can concentrate on the full horror awaiting me, a Malaysian pool and unsuspecting tourists.

We're off to Malaysia for 16 days! Woohoo!

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